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Girls, my husband argued with his mother — his mother-in-law. I understand him to some extent. It hurts, and he’s right, but how should I communicate with my mother-in-law now? He says: if she calls, don’t answer the phone, and gifts from her for the children aren’t needed. And I say: it’s the kids that matter, not you. In short, he’s against it.
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Olya
Explain the situation to your mother-in-law.
Explain that you are on your husband's side and would be glad to talk with her, but he is against it.
Therefore, let her wait for warmer relations and postpone the gifts for now.
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Tanya
Well, if she did something out of the ordinary, then don't talk to her.
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Fedorova Karina
This is a terrible situation 😬 What's the cause of the quarrel? Maybe he's right about the gifts? Maybe mom said something about the kids?
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fefelova elena
It depends on what she did. If this is strictly their conflict, keep communicating as you normally would.
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Proskurnina Irina
I can't even imagine what could tear a mother and her child apart like that.
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marina ivanova
Fedorova Karina She hadn't been around for a while. She asked for help with something there; he said it wouldn't work. She told me not to contact her either.
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Tatyana
Well, it depends on the reason for the quarrel...
I usually stay neutral, just like the children.
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Tatyana Todorova
What is the quarrel about—a minor thing or a serious conflict? A husband and wife are one; if the mother-in-law is wrong, it may be wise to listen to your husband's request...
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marina ivanova
Tatyana Todorova They'll make up later, and I'll be left feeling like crap 💩💩💩
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Dasha
The lovers quarrel only to amuse themselves. I would choose a neutral stance. You haven’t argued with her personally. Why spoil the relationship… They’ll make up, and you’ll feel awkward afterward.
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Nadezhda
Do you have a stake in this quarrel? Are you or your children the subject of it? If not, this does not concern you. Two are fighting; the third is drawn into it. Please stay neutral.
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Elena
If I haven't yelled at him, I talk to this person calmly. What's more, what do the children have to do with this?
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Irina
He had an argument, and what does that have to do with you? It's a familiar situation: when I was still married, my husband argued with his relative; they stopped talking, and that relative even stopped greeting me, even though I had nothing to do with that situation. Well, I thought, to hell with her, since she seems to have a kindergarten mindset.
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Elena
Let him sort things out with his mother himself—you’re not involved here. If you have a good relationship with her, then why can’t you communicate? They’ll make up, and you’ll end up being the one who looks bad.
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Fedorova Karina
Fedorova Karina So, what's the reason?
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Tatyana Todorova
Tatyana Todorova So this isn't the first quarrel between your husband and his mother, and such a situation has probably happened before— since you say so, you understand that the important thing is that you know everything from the inside, the situation, so to speak, while we don't. Therefore it's hard to say anything definite, and giving advice on this is practically impossible.
How does she relate to your husband? to you? to your children?
For example: I know my mother-in-law, what kind of person she is, I know about her actions, her values, and I can say for sure that I am on my husband's side; you, however, know your mother-in-law only you... And it's up to you to decide whether to stay neutral or not 😊
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Fedorova Karina
Fedorova Karina Aaaaa, you know what, I’m on your husband’s side here. I’d also say to nix gifts from a grandmother like that. Not only is there trouble with the grandkids here, but your husband’s childhood grievance is completely justified.
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marina ivanova
Fedorova Karina Well, they'll make up eventually anyway, won't they?
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